#dc funny

[dc-and-damirae]

random hero: aren't you embarrassed about being related to the villain red hood?

Dick: honestly, I'm more embarrassed about being related to Tim

*Tim walks in covered in glitter and offers no explanation*

Jason watching on the monitors at his safe house: lol

[writing-nothing-but-spilled-ink]

How I imagine Bruce fights off vampires and those that are horny for him

[anothertimdrakestan]

conner: tim! i got you something!

tim: oh! did you get me a valentine you softie? that's so sweet of you-

conner: uh i thought we agreed valentines were lame? here, the flesh eating amoebas you wanted, hand delivered!

tim: *shoving a box of chocolates and red balloons back beind the bat computer* of course. thanks kon.

conner: read the box birdbrain.

tim: *reading aloud* there's no other flesh i'd rather eat. happy valentine's day, love conner.

conner: *now holding a bouquet of roses* what even is an amoeba??

[just-another-rainy-day]

Incorrect Batfam quotes as things my friends have said:

Duke: The best part of getting out of bed is the existential dread. (To the tune of the Folgers jingle)

Jason: Discontinue your life?

Tim (hasn’t slept in days): potatoes without the pot is just ah, toes.

Steph: we appreciate your non funniness.

Bruce: How will I keep myself busy after I retire?

Damian: 9 years a killing.

Cass: good god you look like a Smurf.

Dick: thank you! I’ve been waiting for a compliment my whole life.

[jonathan-cranes-mistress-of-fear]

[soulsforsales]

Bat family as conversations between me and my bestfriend

Pt 2

Roy: *to Jason* You are the worst, fuck you

Jason: yeah?? Fuck me yourself, you coward

Roy:

Jason:

Roy: what?

Jason: what

[justmetheguywhoread4120dccomics]

Nightwing memes

This one is actually my favourite as compares our nightwing to the injustice: gods among us one (whom just to remind you died because damian threw an escrima stick at him (not strong just a little thwack) and dick went from standing position to flat on the floor as he lost balance, which would have been no problemo but a tiny pebble was right underneath his neck and so he died as it snapped)

so here is the meme they made in comparison

[mythawolf]

(technically two of these arent MY idea)

[hellishattempt]

wally: ew a spider!

the spider: ew, an emotionally unstable loser who won't stop shoving food in their fat face, and has been crying over the same person who doesn't care about them, for weeks!

wally: well- you didn't have to be mean

the spider: doesn't feel so good, does it? bitch.

wally: did you just call me a bitch?

the spider: *hisses*

wally: *shrieks*

[alienalecx]

Yes sir, WE KNOW

A quick silly Batman cuz I'm moving out and don't have the time to do something better 🥲

[dc-and-damirae]

dick: Hey tim, how was your stake out with jason? tim: jason and I got into a fight, so he tied me up to a chair for six hours and made me watch that one hotel tv channel that’s about the hotel. dick: tim: One day, the Seabury Ritz Hotel will burn to the ground and I will dance on its damn ashes.

[howdoidecidethjs]

I’m dying there is so much untapped comedic and angsty potential when it comes to exploring Batman as the most loving but incapable of showing it ridiculous dad in DC.

This man collects kids like Pokémon and pops them out as mini bat versions of him that are more competent fighters than most of your faves, who also happen to be bffs with all your faves. If not then they at least have the respectTM that comes with being a bat.

Also, Batman being super reserved and moody while also having a bunch of hyper focused and quippy partners who also happen to wear every colour of the rainbow and most of whom have broken Batman’s sacred no-kill rule is SO FUNNY.

The JL and Batman’s rogues: (all pissed) He gets mad when I do that :(((

Every Robin/Batgirl ever after rocking a criminal so bad that they WILL NOT walk for weeks or ever again: *shrugs* skill issue idc

Ah, yes. Me. My Boyfriend. And his 500 snoring children.

[just-another-rainy-day]

Diana: Yeah, I’m sure we can meet at the Batcave!

Clark:…Do you not remember what happened last time?

Diana: But Red Hood put the fire out!

Clark: That’s hardly a mark in his favor!

Diana: But he wasn’t trying to push Red Robin out the window!

Clark: Hn.

Bruce (walking in with dark circles under his eyes and a toilet plunger stuck absently to his forehead. He is clutching a cup of coffee like it is his only lifeline): What are we talking about?

[soulsforsales]

Bruce: *sighs* I don't about the whole Damian and Raven thing

Alfred: *deadpan* Master Damian looks genuinely happy for the first time in his life and I'd rather you not take that away from him, Master Bruce

Bruce:

Bruce: *visibly sweating* ha, of course, whatever you say, Alfred!

[justmetheguywhoread4120dccomics]

bruce vs clark but neither has their memories

[angstandhappiness]

LMAO

Justice League moments caught on live television

Captain Marvel: Can we get cheeseburgers after this?

Batman: You had cheeseburgers for lunch.

Captain Marvel: So?

Batman: *long sigh*

—————

Wonder Woman, to herself: I have the patience of the gods and the kindergarten teachers.

*proceeds to break up argument between Batman and Superman*

—————

Flash: Well how was I supposed to know which one you meant?

Green Arrow: How hard is it to figure out “Meet us in Washington.”

Flash: Hey, there’s lots of Washingtons, alright?

Superman: Yeah. At least forty three.

Green Arrow:

Superman: That I didn’t stop in before I got here.

Green Arrow:

Flash: Hey, it could have been the one in Sussex.

Green Arrow: You both understand this is why Batman hates us, right?

—————

Hawkwoman: You can’t live off of that stuff.

Martian Manhunter, eating from a party size package of Oreos: You don’t know that.

—————

Batman: I have kryptonite, you know.

Superman: And Nightwing knows where it is.

Batman: *shocked gasp*

—————

Black Canary: *fighting a bunch of robots*

Green Lantern: Hey do you think if we tried turning them off and back on again-

Black Canary: This is NOT the time.

Green Lantern: Hey, I’m just saying. It worked for the watchtower.

Black Canary: It worked because we spent three weeks fixing it.

Green Lantern: Okay, yes, but technically-

—————

Batman and Green Arrow: *emerge from a collapsed building*

Green Arrow: Our kids are never letting us live this down.

Batman: Assuming they find us in the first place.

Green Arrow: You can’t always run away from your problems! It didn’t work in high school, and it’s not-

Batman: I didn’t hear from you for a decade so I’d say it worked out fine.

—————

Aquaman, muttering: I have no idea where I am.

—————

Flash: Okay but how are we counting how many times we’ve died?

Green Lantern: Do alternate dimensions count? Because that’s going to change a few people’s numbers.

Superman, nodding: We’ll have to lay down some ground rules.

(Part 2)